The Correlation of Fw: in Email Subject Lines to Crazy
;)
Something going around the intertubes lately has been some really wacky ideas that has some people all worked up over national healthcare. The insistence is that there will be panels of government paid employees out there just waiting to pull the plug on your respirator at your moment of need.
All of this wouldn't have reached such a fever pitch if it wasn't for the vast number of people out there on email incautiously sending all of their contact list every single email message they receive with Fw: in the subject line.
It is my thesis that the ratio of Fw: to non Fw: entitled messages in your inbox directly reveals just how crazy your friends really are. And the ratio within your sent messages folder of the same directly speaks to your own personal craziness level.
I will add a disclaimer that if your use of email is primarily business related you can disregard this...
I would like to commend my friends and contacts, because I have relatively few if ever a Fw: message pop up in my inbox. And the few that do fall under an exemption clause because they were actually from other people I actually knew.
That being said here are my findings.
If your email inbox contains less than 20% and no more than 30% Fw: messages than you are most likely a sane person with one or two slightly crazy friends.
If your Fw: ratio is knocking on 50 to 60% than you most likely need to get out more and gain some new non Fw: friends.
If your inbox is laden with 70% Fw: than you might as well scrap the account and start over, you have a crazy infestation.
These thresholds apply to sent items as well.
I want to also note that there are a few exceptions for emails with the egregious multiple Fw:. If you receive an email with more than one Fw: in the subject line, (i.e. Fw: Fw: Fw: Fw:) you must count each of these individually. The number of Fw: in the subject line is a direct indicator of the innate craziness of the unfounded contents within.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled surfing. And remember; good friends don't let friends Fw:.
Humor 
'Interesting' has become so watered down in our language to the point it is almost meaningless, or when used often implies the opposite.
An elementary art teacher looks at yet another piece of art with Green and Red paint smeared across it. It is the 5,000th iteration of the same painting, only the artist changes. She says to the child, "that's interesting." When in fact she is really saying, "if I have to look at another piece like this I will probably start eating glue myself."
We are with a friend at a restaurant, a coffee shop, playing a game and they are going on and on about some topic that you could really care less about. When they pause you say, "that's interesting." When in fact you are really saying is, "I have not been paying attention for five minutes and have instead been thinking mostly about the really good muffin I had last tuesday."
A husband is sitting and watching TV while his wife tells him about her mishap at the mall involving the thee year old, a shopping cart, and some form of body lotion. When she stops and asks her husband, "are you listening" he responds by saying, "that's interesting." When in fact he has not heard a single word and has been sitting there the whole time thinking, "I really like beef jerky."
All of that to say, if we are ever together and you say, "that's interesting" you are in trouble.
