Hurry and Protect Your Children
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Just in case you haven't read the torrent of emails flooding your inbox. President Obama plans to speak to YOUR children via a televized speech next Tuesday. I mean, what in the world! Just look at the picture above, would you allow this man to speak to your children? I would personally prefer my children be left alone in a room full of ravenous chihuahua's and basted in the juices of left over spam cans....
Just who does this guy think he is? The leader of the free world or something??!!
Just look at that picture... Free candy! He probably got it by taxing all of the middle class kids when they left the candy shop... And who knows what kind of horrors await our children with this guy just rolling around our schools all willy-nilly. Like he actually had any authority over our public education system or something....
"Hey everybody! Get on board my free candy express! Free candy for all the poor kids!!!" I mean really, this is enough to make general Jack Ripper roll over in his grave... It's probably flouridated candy too.
This guy is a menace to society! It can't be said enough....
It's time for us all to pack our bags and move to the Holy Land of Alaska....
I am pretty sure that if Jesus had to come today he would have been an Alaskan. And when the Alaska breaks from the U.S. we can institute the Bible as the constitution, just as the founders of our country intended to do if it wasn't for those Frenchy lobbyists...
Be vigilant! He's coming for your Children!!!!
(in case you missed the point, this has been a work of satire.)