Holy Fool

Just in case you haven't read the torrent of emails flooding your inbox.  President Obama plans to speak to YOUR children via a televized speech next Tuesday.  I mean, what in the world!  Just look at the picture above, would you allow this man to speak to your children?  I would personally prefer my children be left alone in a room full of ravenous chihuahua's and basted in the juices of left over spam cans....

Just who does this guy think he is?  The leader of the free world or something??!!

Just look at that picture... Free candy! He probably got it by taxing all of the middle class kids when they left the candy shop...  And who knows what kind of horrors await our children with this guy just rolling around our schools all willy-nilly.  Like he actually had any authority over our public education system or something....

"Hey everybody!  Get on board my free candy express!  Free candy for all the poor kids!!!"  I mean really, this is enough to make general Jack Ripper roll over in his grave... It's probably flouridated candy too.

This guy is a menace to society!  It can't be said enough....

It's time for us all to pack our bags and move to the Holy Land of Alaska....

I am pretty sure that if Jesus had to come today he would have been an Alaskan.  And when the Alaska breaks from the U.S. we can institute the Bible as the constitution, just as the founders of our country intended to do if it wasn't for those Frenchy lobbyists...

Be vigilant!  He's coming for your Children!!!!

(in case you missed the point, this has been a work of satire.)

Start off your day by reading a my friend Joe’s post.

While I was commenting on his blog I had to fill out a ‘captcha form’ to prove I was human.  I felt the captcha today was very interesting so I saved it.

That’s right, my captcha is ‘a test sin’.  That got my brain a whirling…

A test sin might be when my son looks back at me and smiles slyly as he proceeds to do the very thing I said to stop.

A test sin might have been the ‘original sin’.. “Honest God, I thought you were kidding!”

Speaking of test sins, I do not plan on making any new years resolutions this year.  However I am committing myself to considering thinking about the possibility of shaving regularly.  But that is about as resolution happy as I am getting.  I think most people bail-out on resolutions, not because of laziness mind you, but because they are scared of what might actually happen if they follow through.

If you exercise regularly you will get into better shape, which of course means you have to buy more clothes.  Even worse you might have to start to hang out with those super happy ‘fit’ people that are filled with ‘zest’ for life and drink their vegetables.

If you read the Bible through in the year and pray every day you might be inclined to actually do something God says.  What could be worse than finding out God has called you to minister in Northern Canada, Siberia, or Buffalo?

That’s enough tongue-in-cheekiness…

Predictions.

For 2009 I predict that I will still not mow my lawn more than bi-weekly, unless absolutely necessary, or the neighbor lady stares me down again.

I predict that this will finally be the year of the Kansas City Royals.  And by ‘be the year’ I mean we will go exactly .666 on the season and then lose our best two players to either the Red Sox or the Yankees, who will announce that in 2010 they will have a budget of 20 billion dollars.

That’s it for now.

Oh, I just noticed there is a correlation between shaving and mowing.  They are really very similar, perhaps my aversion to both is really a deep seeded phobia over cutting stalk-like objects?

DB